GoodBye
by madwriter223
Summary: SongFic You lay there dying and there is nothing I can do to help. Angst, Blood, Character death. I've been asked on LJ to issue a hanky-warning as well.


**Song from Silent Hill 4 OST - _Room of Angel_**

**.::Good-Bye::.**

_//You lie silent there before me  
Your tears they mean nothing to me//_

You're on your carapace, staring up at the crying sky. You don't seem to notice neither the silent tears of pain covering your unique orbs nor the gaping wound in your side.

You don't look like you're in pain. It's as if you just woke up.

//_The wind howling at the window//_

You blink, and focus your bleary eyes on my face. The wind is stronger now, pushing the sharp droplets into my face, but I ignore it.

You smile at me softly.

_//The love you never gave  
I give to you_  
_Really don't deserve it//_

I had always loved you. Even as children I showed you that love every way I could think of. Yet you never repeated the same for me. You never showed me you love me too.

I have a feeling all my efforts to show you I cared where for nothing.

At the same time I feel you knew.

//_But now there's nothing you can do  
So sleep in your only memory of me//_

There's nothing you can do now to change, is there? I'm sure this will be the very last memory you'll have of us.

The very last thing you see.

_  
//My dearest brother//_

My brother... you're dying...

_//Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye//_

It's so painfully obvious it's getting too hard for you to keep your eyes open. It's okay now, close your eyes and sleep. There's nothing we can do to help you.

_//It was always you that I despised  
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well//_

I had always been jealous of you. Everyone loved you, and even our Father held you in such a high regard. You were his brave son, he always said.

I was so envious of your bright spirit. I guess it hardened my own in return, because the only droplets trailing down my face are from the rain.

I don't even feel my eyes burning.

_//Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye_

_Goodbye...  
Goodbye...//_

It's okay, brother. Close your eyes and sleep. It'll be okay for us too.

_//So insignificant  
Sleeping dormant deep inside of me//_

Something's churning in my chest, but I ignore it. I don't recognise that feeling, and I don't care about it.

Mikey's holding your hand, grasping it tightly as he cries for you not to go.

Donny is still trying to patch your fading body up, trying fruitlessly to stop the flow of blood.

Their pain is more important than mine.

_//Are you hiding away lost  
Under the sewers  
Maybe flying high in the clouds//_

You blink up at me, and I find myself wondering where will you go? Will you stay in the sewers with us, protecting us in your own way even after you're gone? Or will you go away with the wind, to forever run under the sun?

_//Perhaps you're happy without me//_

You're still smiling, and I wonder if you'll miss me. I never knew if you did when you weren't around, but I doubted it.

Out of us all, you had always been free.

_//So many seeds have been sown in the field_

_And who could sprout up so blessedly//_

Donny's still trying, but it's no use. It seems nothing can stop the redness from flowing out of you. It's as if you were trying to do one last good thing, and give your life to the ground we're on.

I'm sure the plants will grow tall and strong, just like you.

_//If I had died  
I would have never felt sad at all//_

If I had been in your place, I wouldn't be sad. I wouldn't regret taking your place even now. Why won't anyone come and offer me that exchange? I'll gladly accept.

Please someone come...

_//You will not hear me say I'm sorry//_

The tightness in my throat is making it difficult to breathe. I try to speak, but I can't. I have to apologise to you for all the things I said to you in anger. I have to.

Before you'll not be able to hear me.

//_Where is the light  
Wonder if it's weeping somewhere//_

Your eyes blink up at me again, and I notice that the light there is already weakening, slowly dimming under the growing darkness.

Where is it going, the one part that was always beautiful in you even when you were ugly with anger?

Let us keep at least that one part of you.

_//Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye  
It was always you that I despised//_

Are you happy, brother, knowing how you die? Because you once again hadn't thought and just acted?

Are you fuckin' happy knowing what you did?! Knowing you're dying because you took the blow meant for me?!

Are you at least comfortable with your head in my lap?

_//I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well  
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye//_

Mikey's voice sounds hoarse now. Do you hear it? You're the one making him cry now.

Or maybe it's my fault... is it my fault you're dying?

Please tell me...

_//Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye  
It was always you that I despised//_

Your arm moves, sluggishly, but I don't stop it. I know Donny's repeating "Don't move." and "Don't die." over and over, his hands pressing so tightly against your wound, but I won't stop you. Moving will only drain what little energy you still have, but I can't stop you.

Out of us all, you had always been free. I won't take away what little freedom you have.

_//I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well  
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye//_

Your hand managed to go to Don's, grasping his fingers despite the slick blood covering them. You tilt your head and you smile at his tear-strained face. Donny chokes, shaking with the force of his sobs.

_//Good-bye  
Good-bye//_

He sobs openly now, releasing your wound and laying his head on your plastron. Or at least on one of the few bits that are still left of your plastron.

_//Good-bye  
Good-bye//_

No matter how hard we would have tried, there is nothing we could do to save you.

_//Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye  
It was always you that I despised//_

You move your gaze to Mikey now, and you smile at him too. No one in our family had seen that soft smile for years now. It was the rarest quality of you, but somehow it felt tainted as you lay dying.

For Mikey it's also painful, and he cries harder now, calling your name over and over, clutching at your hand even tighter.

I see your fingers twitch, and I know your trying to return the contact.

_//I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well  
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye//_

I'm still not crying, does that make me a monster? Am I that horrible a brother I can't even bring myself to grieve over you? You're dying and it's my fault, isn't it?

You're in pain, brother. Please close your eyes and sleep. I hate it when your in pain.

_//Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye  
It was always you that I despised//_

Your mouth opens, and you swallow slowly.

"It's okay." you whisper, your voice heavy and tired. "It'll be okay."

I suddenly remember all those times I hated the things that came out of your throat. Does one more make a difference?

Am I a monster for hating you saying good-bye to us for the last time?

_//I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well  
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye//_

You move your eyes to mine again, your lips curved in soft smile. "It's okay." you whisper only to me. "You're okay."

_//Good-bye//_

Donny rises with your chest two more times then stills. Your chest will no longer lift his body. Nor will it fill your lungs.

_  
//Good-bye//_

Mikey's crying quiets, and he tugs at your hand shakily. Then he breaks down completely, his loud sobs and wails joining Donny's.

_  
//Good-bye//_

All my life, I was blind, wasn't I?

You had always loved me. You had always known I love you and you loved me back. I know that now. I see that now as your golden eyes hide behind lax lids, never to appear again.

_  
//Good-bye... //_

Good-bye, my dearest brother.

Good-bye, Raphael...


End file.
